In Everything Give Thanks

When the alarm went off, every muscle in my body screamed along with it. It hurt to move. I pushed it to the back of my mind because I had to get boys ready for school. I chugged some DayQuill , three shots of espresso and tried to power through my day.

Then, I discovered a skin infection on Brody and the doctor wanted to see him.

Then, the school nurse called me asking to pick Tyler up because he was "sick".

"It's going to be a BAD day", I thought to myself. "Seriously, could it get any worse?"

I wanted to smack myself. Of course it could get worse! I was irritated with my own attitude, and suddenly something dawned on me. I could still choose to be thankful in the midst of this day.

Because Thanksgiving is this month, many people have been updating Facebook statuses to say what they are thankful for. I think that's a great start. But really, is it that hard to find things to be thankful for in our comfortable, affluent society? We have cars with heated seats, beds that adjust to our bodies for maximum softness, air conditioning, running water, food delivery services...do I need to keep going? Yes, our country has plenty of problems, but compared to the rest of the world, let's face it - we have it pretty good.

But, what if we could take it one step further and live out this verse in our lives: "In everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." (I Thessalonians 5:18)

I think often of a powerful story I heard for the first time in high school. Corrie Ten Boom and her sister Betsie had been sent to a concentration camp for hiding Jews in Nazi-controlled Haarlem where she and her family lived before the War. In the midst of the arguably most horrible circumstances possible, they found reason to give thanks: {yes, I know this is "long" but take a minute to read it all - it will stick with you forever - I promise!}

We lay back, struggling against the nausea that swept over us from the reeking straw.
..Suddenly I sat up, striking my head on the cross-slats above. Something had pinched my leg.
“‘Fleas!’ I cried. ’Betsie, the place is swarming with them!’
“‘Here! And here another one!’ I wailed. ‘Betsie, how can we live in such a place!’
“‘Show us. Show us how.’ It was said so matter of factly it took me a second to realize she was praying. More and more the distinction between prayer and the rest of life seemed to be vanishing for Betsie.
“‘Corrie!’ she said excitedly. ’He’s given us the answer! Before we asked, as He always does! In the Bible this morning. Where was it? Read that part again!’
“I glanced down the long dim aisle to make sure no guard was in sight, then drew the Bible from its pouch. ‘It was in First Thessalonians,’ I said. We were on our third complete reading of the New Testament since leaving Scheveningen.
“In the feeble light I turned the pages. ‘Here it is: “Comfort the frightened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. See that none of you repays evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to all…’” It seemed written expressly to Ravensbruck.
“‘Go on,’ said Betsie. ‘That wasn’t all.’
“‘Oh yes:’…“Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus.’”
“‘That’s it, Corrie! That’s His answer. “Give thanks in all circumstances!” That’s what we can do. We can start right now to thank God for every single thing about this new barracks!’ I stared at her; then around me at the dark, foul-aired room.
“‘Such as?’ I said.
“‘Such as being assigned here together.’
“I bit my lip. ‘Oh yes, Lord Jesus!’
“‘Such as what you’re holding in your hands.’ I looked down at the Bible.
“‘Yes! Thank You, dear Lord, that there was no inspection when we entered here! Thank You for all these women, here in this room, who will meet You in these pages.’
“‘Yes,’ said Betsie, ‘Thank You for the very crowding here. Since we’re packed so close, that many more will hear!’
She looked at me expectantly. ‘Corrie!’ she prodded.
“Oh, all right. Thank You for the jammed, crammed, stuffed, packed suffocating crowds.’
“‘Thank You,’ Betsie went on serenely, ‘for the fleas and for–’
“The fleas! This was too much. ‘Betsie, there’s no way even God can make me grateful for a flea.’
“‘Give thanks in all circumstances,’ she quoted. It doesn’t say, ‘in pleasant circumstances.’ Fleas are part of this place where God has put us.
“And so we stood between tiers of bunks and gave thanks for fleas. But this time I was sure Betsie was wrong.”

“One evening I got back to the barracks late from a wood-gathering foray outside the walls. A light snow lay on the ground and it was hard to find the sticks and twigs with which a small stove was kept going in each room. Betsie was waiting for me, as always, so that we could wait through the food line together. Her eyes were twinkling.
“‘You’re looking extraordinarily pleased with yourself,’ I told her.
“‘You know, we’ve never understood why we had so much freedom in the big room,’ she said. ‘Well–I’ve found out.’
“That afternoon, she said, there’d been confusion in her knitting group about sock sizes and they’d asked the supervisor to come and settle it.
“But she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t step through the door and neither would the guards. And you know why?”
“Betsie could not keep the triumph from her voice: ‘Because of the fleas! That’s what she said, “That place is crawling with fleas!’”
“My mind rushed back to our first hour in this place. I remembered Betsie’s bowed head, remembered her thanks to God for creatures I could see no use for.”

If women being punished, who are completely innocent, can be thankful in the midst of living with fleas, surely I can be thankful in the midst of my "bad day". {Note that we don't have to be thankful for all things - ie, the Holocaust - but we can be thankful in the midst of all things - the opportunity to share Jesus in an awful place.}  We can live life - daily - with a heart of gratitude. I feel like such a child when I think of my natural inclination to find things to complain about, or to dwell on difficulty. My prayer for this thanksgiving is to grow the gratitude in my heart to extend to all circumstances; to give thanks in everything - not just what is pleasant.  

Today, I can say that I am thankful for hard days, because they require me to go to God for strength, to seek Him for encouragement and comfort that I can't find on my own.

What about you? What circumstances are you struggling to find gratitude in? What are your "fleas"? I always love to hear :-)

Peace & Candy Corn

I love candy corn. Every fall I find myself making up excuses to run to Walgreen's to pick up another bag. Then, I "hide" it from myself somewhere in the house. And, let's be honest, I'm pretty good at finding my hiding spots.

Last week, I was leaving from one of my notorious trips to the drugstore, and had a handful of candy in my mouth before I even made it to the car. As I was shoveling the scrumptious piles of sugar into my face, the delicious smell of steak from Outback Steakhouse came drifting into my nostrils. Suddenly, I felt like I was chewing on a mouthful of wax. I know all you anti-corn-ers think they always taste like wax, but this was a first for me. Man, that steak smelled good. I started wondering if Adam would miss me if I made just one more pit stop...

{You might not relate to my candy corn addiction, but my guess is that you probably have your own "thing" that you go out of your way to get - especially on tough days. Dark chocolate? Wine? Retail therapy? French fries?!}

The candy corn incident really caught my attention, because it made me wonder why I was eating candy when I could have steak. Where else was I substituting crap for the real thing?

All week I have really been wrestling with the idea that I am lacking peace in my life. I've known it was missing because the symptoms are obvious: insomnia, anxiety, drinking multiple coffees a day, skin breakouts, and when I get really stressed, my gums even swell up which is super totes lame. I just wasn't sure what to do about it. If God offers peace, why didn't I have it, and even more importantly, where was I wasting energy pursuing things that were falsely offering peace?

What is peace anyway? Fifteen minutes without kids pestering me? A quiet, reflective walk on the beach at sunset? An hour-long massage with candles and Enya playing? The politically correct answer to every  Miss America pageant question?

I love Hayley DiMarco's definition of peace in her book The Fruitful Wife:

Peace comes from an absence of conflict, not external conflict but internal conflict. It is a calm knowing and a restful understanding of the ways of a world held in the hand of a perfect God. 

In other words, it's available at ALL TIMES and isn't circumstance-based. But wait, if this calm and restful state is offered to us at all times, why are we so busy, stressed out and anxious?

Peace Thieves.

Wanna know what the biggest peace thief is?

Idolatry.

Before you go all "I don't have any mini-buddhas in my house" on me, let me share what my biggest "ah-ha" moment was this week as it relates to idolatry. An idol is anything that we go to for the things God promises to do for us, and peace is one of those things. "So the biggest peace thief of all is looking for peace in all the wrong places." DiMarco says.

I am a validation junkie. A people-pleaser. If someone is mad at me, or even sends me a text without 17 smiley faces and I think there is the tiniest shred of possibility that they could be mad at me, I can't function. BOOM. Peace thief.

I seek peace in everyone being at peace with me - but that can't always happen. Conflict is inevitable in life. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be at peace with people, but I can't rely on it as my source of peace. Seeking peace from people is like candy corn for steak. It just doesn't satisfy. At some point, you need dinner!

What do I do?

Starting a photography business has been like taking my heart out of my chest cavity and holding it on a plate. I feel incredibly vulnerable. My vocation is so intimately attached to who I am and how I interpret beauty. So, if I post things and people "like" them, I feel great. If I get anything but gushing rave reviews, I'm devastated. Some days, I sit on Facebook and hold my breath until people "like" something. Okay, that's exaggerating, but I know I'm on my computer TOO much.

As I was processing this earlier, the thought crossed my mind that I should fast from social media for some set period of time. An inner dialogue began:

Defensive Me says "But your business is on social media! You can't just ignore your business!"

Witty Me says "Maybe you just need to cut back. Just because there's lots of food in the house doesn't mean you need to eat it all. What about implementing some healthy boundaries and unplugging most of the rest of the time?"

Hmmm. Witty Me is right. Challenge....accepted!

I'm going to take this one step further though, because I fully believe in putting on and putting off. You can't just drop a bad habit - you need to find a good habit to take it's place. If idolatry is a peace thief, then filling my heart and mind with God's word must be a peace-bringer.

Will you memorize some scripture with me? If you do, next time I see you I'll buy you a latte if you can say this passage to me:

"I am leaving you with a gift - peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid." John 14:27

I'm also going to ask my close friends and my husband to remind me that I don't always have to be scrolling and checking and scrolling and checking and to PUT DOWN THE PHONE!

What's your peace thief? I'd love to hear :-)

(BTW...if you could "like" this post, I'd really love it. Ha ha ha ha. I'm working on it...)

Back to School Giveaway!!

Where did summer go? The older I get, the faster time seems to fly by!

If you're a mom, like me, you may have just spent the last few weeks shopping for back to school supplies and new clothes for your kids. In honor of moms, we've decided that it's time the ladies got a little pampering and shopping for themselves! I am so thankful for all the wonderful businesses who have decided to participate! Show them some love by stopping by their Facebook pages or let them know you saw them in this giveaway next time you shop.

All you have to do to enter the giveaway is like each of the businesses Facebook pages using the Rafflecopter widget (If you are on a mobile device, don't panic, but you won't see it. You need to be on a computer to enter) ! The Giveaway is open until midnight September 10th. One winner will be drawn by random number generator and announced on Friday morning, September 13th.

Prize Package will include:

A Free Portrait Session from Shannan Painter Photography with up to 5 digital image rights {valued at $250}

A $50 Gift Certificate to Apricot Lane Missoula

A Gift Basket from Smooch Cosmetic Boutique {Valued at $50}

A Wax Warmer & Scented Bars from Scensty by Ariell Pirwitz {Value around $50}

A $150 Gift Certificate to La Stella Blu ( www.lastellablu.com Baby Carriers, Baby Slings & Baby Products)

$50 of Pampering Skin Care Products from Get Poshed with Tami {Tami Mathis}

$35 worth of Frozen Yogurt from U-Swirl (YUM!!)

Decorative Pallet from Two Tree Lane {$50 Value}

WOW! What a great prize package!! Thanks again to all our vendors and GOOD LUCK :-)

The Battle Against Busyness

As a wife, mom and a business owner, I feel like I have a never-ending to-do list. Most of my days start with a triple shot americano and valiant determination to get everything done. Most days end with me lying in bed thinking about all the things I didn't get to. It seems like a vicious cycle of trying, resorting myself to attending to the immediate needs, and inevitably feeling like I am failing at something. If I'm on top of my work, I feel like I'm neglecting spending quality time with my kids. If I'm spending quality time with kids, stuff starts growing in the refrigerator and my family stares at me like deer in the headlights when I tell them that we are eating Rice Chex for dinner (again?!). We all want to get to the gym, plan healthy meals, play with our kids, keep the house clean, actually shave our legs at least once a month, have a date night with our hubbies, have a girls' night once in a while, do that one project I saw on HGTV, water the plants, dust (yeah right!), oh and maybe I should actually READ my Bible today and not just think about it, and somehow I need to bring in a little extra income with my time somewhere, and....ugh. It makes me tired just thinking about it.

Busy, busy, BUSY. I would be willing to bet that if you asked any adult on the street if they considered their lives to be busy, most - if not all, would answer yes.

Why are we SO busy?

A friend and business colleague recently sent an email out that stopped me in my tracks and reminded me that I really am in control of my schedule:

"You do have a say in everything that you do and in what you accept. Each day is a reflection of all the things you agree to because you believe that you must do these things.

When you tell yourself that you don’t have time to take care of the things that you know you need to do it’s because you are crowding out your life with things that you don’t need. The laundry list of excess is often not focused on things that add to our lives, but rather things that pull life out. You may want it all, but the truth is, unless you know what exactly “it all” is, you are just going to be filling your life with things that pull you further away from what you need and want because you have no clear direction."

Clear direction. Doesn't that sound glorious?

I thought that since today was the first day of school for my kids - routines, consistency, etc - that it would be a good time for me to put my priorities in writing. 

My clear direction is this:

I want to FIRST be a child of God, a woman who sits at Jesus' feet every day so that my life produces the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness and self-control. I want to be a wife who is an exceptional help-meet to my husband by serving him, encouraging him and loving him out of the abundance of Christ's love for me. I want to be a wise and nurturing mother that raises brave, strong and wise young men, and a mom who teaches in times of non-conflict. I want to be a friend who isn't afraid to be inconvenienced, a friend who isn't attached to my possessions if someone else needs them. I want to be a business owner with integrity, excellence and quality as marks of my trade. I want to be someone who reflects God's love to everyone around me.

There it is. Now I can say no to everything else that doesn't help me accomplish those purposes. Ah.....that feels so much better.

What is your direction? I'd love to hear it <3

Father's Day

Tomorrow is Father's Day, and every year when I am trying to think of a gift for my dad, it just doesn't seem sufficient. This year, I thought one of the best ways I could honor him was with words - although, if I could've pulled it off, nothing would have made my dad's day more than some cheese fries from Hoagieville. It's just kinda hard to express ship those things from Montana to Louisiana. Cold fries are nasty and taste like soggy cardboard. Sorry dad.

Dads are always a girl's first hero. Some of my earliest memories of my dad are from when he got a job coaching football and teaching at Portland Christian High School. I loved nothing more than to tag along at my daddy's side walking the hallways with the big high schoolers around. Apparently, I even liked to hang out in the locker room after football practice before I was old enough to know that it was a stinky, nasty place where people go to get athlete's foot. I loved that MY DAD had authority. People listened to him, and it made me feel important to be next to him.

When I was younger, I would ask my dad silly questions just because I knew he was smart and I loved to hear him explain things to me. I always knew a good explanation was coming when he'd clear his throat and say "well,..." and then he'd finish his thought with "at any rate..." This may sound like a 1st grade paper, but my dad is so smart, I don't even know what he does sometimes. I called him the other day and asked what he was doing and all I could tell you, based on his reply, was that it was something in a lab with stuff. How's that for scientific?

Girls need their daddies to be tough too. Dads are our source of protection, and we always think they are the strongest people we know. My dad got a fishing lure stuck in his hand once, and I will never forget watching him trying to pull it out with pliers. I almost threw up, but it didn't seem to bother him in the slightest.  I will also never forget the first time I really saw my dad cry. It wasn't until I was 18 and he was dropping me off in Minnesota to start college. It shook me to the core, but I knew in that moment how much he really loved me.

Even though my dad was smart, tough, played sports with me and all the other things a good dad should, it wasn't any one of those traits that made him such an exceptional dad. It was all of them, combined with the fact that he gave me one of the best gifts a dad can give: a foundation in Truth. My dad took our family to church every Sunday no matter what was going on. I always knew I could ask him any question I had about God, and he would have an answer. I certainly had my moments when I questioned what I was taught; I rebelled and caused myself a lot of pain. But it was in those moments, when my dad had the courage to speak up - even if I didn't want to hear it at the time - that I began to see what a wise man my dad is. As children, we never truly appreciate our parents. It isn't until we have our own kids sometimes that we realize how much parents give, how desperately they want the best for us, how they want us to make good choices, and grow up to be healthy, responsible adults. I know my dad wanted those things for me and still does.

As an adult, one of my favorite things to do is just sit and talk to my dad about anything - politics, Genesis, current events, Duck Dynasty, or even people at Louisiana Walmarts. He has a fantastic sense of humor and some great dance moves. (You'll never see the dance moves - they only occur at home on rare occasions, but they are pretty sweet.) I love you dad! I'm so thankful for you, and I wish you weren't so far away!

Smiles

Do you know anyone that seems to have a perpetual smile on their face? I know a few people, and I have always wondered what their secret is. I wear my emotions on my sleeve, so if I'm cranky, or tired, or mad at the world, I'll likely tell you about it!

Recently I was challenged by a chapter in a book I am reading through with some other ladies about how important it is to make an effort to smile. It finally dawned on me that I can smile, even if I don't FEEL like smiling! It's a choice. It's a muscle in my face that works like any other muscle in my body - if my brain tells it to move, it moves! What if I CHOSE to smile more? What might happen?

I was changing Brody this morning and I couldn't help but laugh as he giggled while I changed his diaper. All I have to do is make silly faces at him or press my face into his belly and he laughs like it's the funniest thing in the world! It's genuine, sweet, uninhibited laughter, and it's contagious.

Do you need to smile more? Write yourself a sticky note, turn on some crazy music, and read this verse:

Psalm 28:7
"The LORD is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving."

We have so much to be thankful for! Share some joy with someone today!

I'm on the verge of realizing a dream and it feels exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time. I've been told "you'll never make money" and "the market is so saturated" and "why would you do that when you have a great career already?" all in the last week! (Nothing like a vote of confidence to get me started right?!)

Before I tell you what this big dream is, if you haven't guessed, I have to preface it first. See, I've always been slightly jealous of my husband who knew at such a young age what he wanted to do. His vision and focus drove him to pursue his career, even when things got hard. I, on the other hand, have switched majors, made coffee, waited tables, started an online business, graduated with an accounting degree, worked in marketing,  title insurance, retail, more retail (seriously, I am NOT folding those jeans again!) more customer service (no, I will NOT give you another corn muffin for free, and NO YOU DON'T NEED MORE RANCH!!) and finally I decided to just be my own boss. I like that. I am so nice to me!

Anyway, when I was about 9, my mom gave me this olllld 110 mm film camera. I thought it was the coolest thing EVER. I took way more pictures that I think she ever wanted to develop. One of my favorite ways to set up my "studio" was to clear off a little open set of shelves my mom used to store toys on and hang a table cloth behind it. I loved dressing up my little sisters, curling their hair and taking "glamour shots". As I got older, I took pictures when I could - for yearbook in high school, for fun as an adult, and I even took some college photography classes. I guess I just always felt like pursuing photography wasn't "academically worthy enough". I figured I should do something with my left brain, because it seemed more important. I thought working at PriceWaterhouseCoopers in a big skyscraper would be way more impressive than snapping pics...

Turns out I was wrong. Feeling important is overrated ;-)

I decided a couple things in this long process: 1) God made me unique - with a unique combination of talents and abilities. This could be a whole separate blog post, because I enjoy doing lots of things, and could never really completely devote myself to just ONE! 2) Success - for me - isn't defined as being rich, or gaining lots of recognition. Success is doing what God calls me to do, and making sure my priorities as a wife and mom are in order first. 3) I care too much about what people think! I would have pursued my dream a long time ago if I wasn't so worried about people's opinions. I am shifting my focus to please one: God.

With all that in mind, I am happy to unveil my newest business venture: Shannan Painter Photography!