I love candy corn. Every fall I find myself making up excuses to run to Walgreen's to pick up another bag. Then, I "hide" it from myself somewhere in the house. And, let's be honest, I'm pretty good at finding my hiding spots.
Last week, I was leaving from one of my notorious trips to the drugstore, and had a handful of candy in my mouth before I even made it to the car. As I was shoveling the scrumptious piles of sugar into my face, the delicious smell of steak from Outback Steakhouse came drifting into my nostrils. Suddenly, I felt like I was chewing on a mouthful of wax. I know all you anti-corn-ers think they always taste like wax, but this was a first for me. Man, that steak smelled good. I started wondering if Adam would miss me if I made just one more pit stop...
{You might not relate to my candy corn addiction, but my guess is that you probably have your own "thing" that you go out of your way to get - especially on tough days. Dark chocolate? Wine? Retail therapy? French fries?!}
The candy corn incident really caught my attention, because it made me wonder why I was eating candy when I could have steak. Where else was I substituting crap for the real thing?
All week I have really been wrestling with the idea that I am lacking peace in my life. I've known it was missing because the symptoms are obvious: insomnia, anxiety, drinking multiple coffees a day, skin breakouts, and when I get really stressed, my gums even swell up which is super totes lame. I just wasn't sure what to do about it. If God offers peace, why didn't I have it, and even more importantly, where was I wasting energy pursuing things that were falsely offering peace?
What is peace anyway? Fifteen minutes without kids pestering me? A quiet, reflective walk on the beach at sunset? An hour-long massage with candles and Enya playing? The politically correct answer to every Miss America pageant question?
I love Hayley DiMarco's definition of peace in her book The Fruitful Wife:
Peace comes from an absence of conflict, not external conflict but internal conflict. It is a calm knowing and a restful understanding of the ways of a world held in the hand of a perfect God.
In other words, it's available at ALL TIMES and isn't circumstance-based. But wait, if this calm and restful state is offered to us at all times, why are we so busy, stressed out and anxious?
Peace Thieves.
Wanna know what the biggest peace thief is?
Idolatry.
Before you go all "I don't have any mini-buddhas in my house" on me, let me share what my biggest "ah-ha" moment was this week as it relates to idolatry. An idol is anything that we go to for the things God promises to do for us, and peace is one of those things. "So the biggest peace thief of all is looking for peace in all the wrong places." DiMarco says.
I am a validation junkie. A people-pleaser. If someone is mad at me, or even sends me a text without 17 smiley faces and I think there is the tiniest shred of possibility that they could be mad at me, I can't function. BOOM. Peace thief.
I seek peace in everyone being at peace with me - but that can't always happen. Conflict is inevitable in life. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be at peace with people, but I can't rely on it as my source of peace. Seeking peace from people is like candy corn for steak. It just doesn't satisfy. At some point, you need dinner!
What do I do?
Starting a photography business has been like taking my heart out of my chest cavity and holding it on a plate. I feel incredibly vulnerable. My vocation is so intimately attached to who I am and how I interpret beauty. So, if I post things and people "like" them, I feel great. If I get anything but gushing rave reviews, I'm devastated. Some days, I sit on Facebook and hold my breath until people "like" something. Okay, that's exaggerating, but I know I'm on my computer TOO much.
As I was processing this earlier, the thought crossed my mind that I should fast from social media for some set period of time. An inner dialogue began:
Defensive Me says "But your business is on social media! You can't just ignore your business!"
Witty Me says "Maybe you just need to cut back. Just because there's lots of food in the house doesn't mean you need to eat it all. What about implementing some healthy boundaries and unplugging most of the rest of the time?"
Hmmm. Witty Me is right. Challenge....accepted!
I'm going to take this one step further though, because I fully believe in putting on and putting off. You can't just drop a bad habit - you need to find a good habit to take it's place. If idolatry is a peace thief, then filling my heart and mind with God's word must be a peace-bringer.
Will you memorize some scripture with me? If you do, next time I see you I'll buy you a latte if you can say this passage to me:
"I am leaving you with a gift - peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid." John 14:27
I'm also going to ask my close friends and my husband to remind me that I don't always have to be scrolling and checking and scrolling and checking and to PUT DOWN THE PHONE!
What's your peace thief? I'd love to hear :-)
(BTW...if you could "like" this post, I'd really love it. Ha ha ha ha. I'm working on it...)
Great reminder! In the age of social media, I believe it can be a dangerous place where we are looking so much for approval from man and not from God. I think this has been one of the main lessons God has taught me with my blog and continues to work on with me. The question is, "Will you still write what I am calling you to write even if no one "likes" it? Will you get the same reward or joy from doing it if your reading numbers are down?" The answer has to be yes. We are called to be in this world, but not of it. It is surely hard sometimes, isn't it? You are absolutely right. Peace can be found through Christ alone, not from men. However, spending time with my sweet friend visiting is still good for my soul. :)
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